The ritual went something like this: We’d roll a joint, and climb the koppie so we could look out over the lights of Jozi. The water tower atop Northcliff Hill would watch over us. Two friends laughing into a wide starry night sky, we’d break the law and strike our Lion matches to smoke a joint.

That was the 80s. That era of women’s awful power suits - damn you, Margaret Thatcher! Dope came in only a few variants back then. Majat. Durban Poison. Transkei green. And Swazi cob. Back then the biggest thing in dagga tech was a rollie and some Rizlas.


I was introduced to grass in 1981 while at school in Potchefstroom. Some prefects I knew were partaking the herb. How’d I know them? Let’s just say I was in their service. I’d help them pass their joint back and forth, so they didn’t have to get off their entitled arses. Corporal Punishment was a thing back then, so was James ‘Methylated’ Spirits who once told me how he met Jesus on a mountain.


Today I’m an atheist, and the world I knew thirty-something years ago is long dead. It’s 2019 and people drink coffee made from beans that have passed through a serval’s digestive system. Farking expensive too. The most expensive coffee in the world.


So when the Vape Store asked The Dude to review some cannabis technology, boy was I excited. I knew that dope machinery had evolved. I’ve smoked Arizer Vapes in Canada, and know that one can enjoy MJ at Roor-Friendly coffee shops in Amsterdam.


But I was surprised when I was given a device called an #ARDENTLIFT that decarboxylates or ‘cures’ cannabis. Sleek, portable and stylish the purple flask-like machine arrived in beautifully-designed, cylindrical packaging. As David Carpenter, founder of Panther Papers, said in Forbes, cannabis has been “liberated”. [Innovative And Elegant Products Are Changing How People Consume.]

What is decarboxylation? In short, it is a process of heating the cannabinoids found in weed. This activates the psychoactive compounds in cannabis and makes them more readily available for your personal pleasure. This is why people would ‘cook’ dagga in their oven. Or heat cannabis on the stove with oils to produce shatter, batter, wax or dabs.


But going Defy with your dope is seriously old school because things get messy and smelly. And you don’t have to do this any more thanks to a Boston-based biotech company called Ardent that is producing laboratory-precision machines so humans can prepare their own cannabis medicine at home for oral, sublingual and topical use.


To try this machine I used 5 grams of the best, organic Blueberry Kush that I could lay my hands on in Cape Town. Indoor of course. The curing is easy enough. Take the flask out of the container, open it, remove an inner silver container and fill it with the amount of herbage you want to cook. The device holds an absolute max of 14 grams. Then you close the machine, lock the cap, and turn it on. The on/off switch displays a light that signals red or green. When it is green it means your dope’s dope. Done. Ready.


For what? To eat. Vape. Smoke. Sprinkle on salads. Blend with your morning smoothies or to bake into brownies, bread, carrot cake or whatever your heart desires. Once your cannabis is cured you can return the plant material to your Lift and cook it again, but this time with your preferred oils or butters to take the guesswork out of infusion. The only irritation is that to do this one needs to buy a little more equipment from Ardent. [Why not sell it all together in one go?]


The big difference between raw and cooked? Without cooking the Blueberry Kush, vaping doesn’t deliver the same psychoactive experience. With cooking, the fruity, earthy Indica strain delivered a good, sustained experience. It helped with the pain I experience associated with the depression I struggle with. A really pleasant way to nod off after a tough, anxiety-infused day.


First I took a bud and ate it plain. It was a pleasant experience and tasted like dried oregano - but was fruitier and more earthy. I experience a mellow, relaxed state which was more subtle than vaping but had a longer duration. After using the machine It is self-evident that curing cannabis makes good sense to get more out of your plant material. I’m sold.



The machine gets 4 stars from The Dude for its absolute ease of use and high functionality. Now that I’ve used it, I think it’s a convenient countertop device that regular users would appreciate.


The Ardent Lift Decarboxylator is available at Vape Store for R3,650.

Read more:

Ardent Launches Make-Your-Own-Edible Kits And A Cannabis Decarboxylator in Forbes

Wikileaf - The How And Why Behind Decarbing Your Weed

Cheech and Chong on 40 Years of ‘Up in Smoke’: ‘Real Life Drove Everything’ in Rolling Stone Magazine.


References:

What We Learned From Infusing Oils and Testing THC Levels by Ardent.

Decarb Myths Debunked by Ardent.